Unlearning 101

Are Your Unhappy? Unlearning Can Help.

Are you unhappy? If so, unlearning can help. The reason is two-fold. First, often, the way we see the problem is the problem. And, second, it is important to remember that the opposite may also be true.

For example, if you are unhappy because you don't have a job try focusing on how the extra time you have on your hands is a blessing. 

If you are unhappy because you don't a lover in your life, consider how fortunate you are to have your family and friends. 

If you are unhappy because you don't money, concentrate on your passion -- or consider volunteering for an organization which assists those in greater need than you. 

If you are unhappy because you don't have more stuff (e.g. those new shoes or the latest technology product), see the beauty in being free of those attachments.

Finally, if you are unhappy because you can't change the world around you, you can always change yourself.

Should Some People Unlearn Optimism?

It is likely that Al Franken will be soon be the next U.S. Senator from my home state of Minnesota. Personally, I'm not a fan of Mr. Franken but I did like one of the skits he used to perfom on Saturday Night Live. It was called "Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley" and the character's signature tagline was "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

There is much to be said for the power of positive thinking and, all things being equal, I believe people should think optimistically.

Unfortunately, all things are not equal. This article from the most recent edition of The Economist suggests that for some people positive self-statements can be counter-productive. Here's the operative paragraph:

"Dr Wood suggests that positive self-statements cause negative moods in people with low self-esteem because they conflict with those people’s views of themselves. When positive self-statements strongly conflict with self-perception, she argues, there is not mere resistance but a reinforcing of self-perception. People who view themselves as unlovable find saying that they are so unbelievable that it strengthens their own negative view rather than reversing it. Given that many readers of self-help books that encourage positive self-statements are likely to suffer from low self-esteem, they may be worse than useless."